How to overcome childhood trauma?
We’ve been blessed with life far before one egg chose a specific cell and merged, far before our little hearts felt their first heartbeat. We’ve been blessed with life upon creation when Allah swt chose us to be part of this worldly life and therefor life is not just a blessing but a gift on its own. However, there were times in my life that this gift we’re given actually felt as curse, a burden I needed to carry and I couldn’t seem to escape.
Living your life through the eyes of someone else, experiencing your life through the voice of someone else, is exhausting and steering. For a long time I forgot who I was because I never got the chance to simply be. Not having a safe environment to grow and to blossom makes one lose their flower buds before they could even pop.
I HAd to let go…
I often hear people say “I am who I am today because of so and so”, but I am who I am today because of two things. Seconds chances and selfcare. When I got scared of the dark and didn’t dare to turn on the lights, it was Allah swt who gave me a second chance. It was He who showed me that love could be kind and trustworthy. He gave me a second chance on redirecting the course of my life. Al Hamdoulilah, because I’m glad I took that chance. I also started to love. Myself that is. I am who I am because I chose to love me, to like me and to care about my wellbeing. In doing so, I had to let go of childhood traumas.
… AS a small breeze enters
Unfortunately, the latter is not that easy. Even when I think I have cured my pains, I’ll sometimes open a window ajar as an adult and a small breeze enters, reminding me of something I have experienced before. And maybe it won’t be a literal experience, maybe it will simply frighten my core, cause doubt to enter my mind, have my heart stand on guard. But I believe it’s the moments I’m actually conscious of these feeling and reactions, that I can tackle them and grow. They’re no longer blind spots keeping me in the dark.
قُل لَّن يُصِيبَنَآ إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ ٱللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوۡلَىٰنَاۚ وَعَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَلۡيَتَوَكَّلِ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ
Say, ‘Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector.’ And upon Allah let the believers rely. Surah At-Taubah 9:51
To create a safe space
The beauty of my life is, that sometimes I’m forced to come out of the dark. My healthy surroundings will open the windows fully so that the outside breeze turns into a full blown wind, allowing me to breathe. The joy these people bring me, the actual real safety I experience and the purity I receive make for a scary feeling but are definitely worth it. At the end of the day, poor into the world what you hope to see in yourself, right? Lots of goodness, lots faith and lots of kindness! But most of all, a safe space for people to simply be.